REMEMBERING TO LAUGH

My test is tomorrow! I think at this point, it's time to just accept whatever stage of preparedness that I'm in, and just go for it. I had a friend tell me it was a piece of cake for him, but in all honesty, I have gotten my butt kicked in every way imaginable while trying to take my practice exams, and it has been quite demoralizing to say the least. I'm one of those people who take failure ridiculously personally and project it onto who I am and my sense of worth; but I'm learning the slow and painful way that I need to embrace my limitations as a part of who I am.

In any case, we shall see how it goes. I'll still be bummed if it doesn't work out, but even if it doesn't- my life is still full and rich and blessed and I am reminded of how all of it is completely undeserved, and that I am so lucky to be able to say that!

These are pictures that Taylor took from a while ago, but they remind me to smile and laugh and just take a chill pill and relax a little already! We were fighting about something at the time, but somehow he managed to make me laugh really hard despite the fact that I was angry.  Sometimes I hate it when he does that because I want to stay angry to prove my point, but it reminds me that life is too short to insist on taking every little thing so seriously. He's really good at that and is always so supportive and encouraging in everything I try to do. Our relationship is anything but perfect, and we sure do get into our fair share of fights, but I'm really thankful for him and that he knows how to put with me and my moments of insanity.

Anyway, I decided to use one of the massage certificates he bought me for my birthday to unwind tonight after work, and I am literally counting down the minutes! I can't wait!!!!!!

THE BUILDING AND THE EGG// Design in nature

<image source for sydney opera house>

It's crazy to think that some of the most fascinatingly beautiful  and complex buildings are designed around a structural concept that can also be found in an everyday object sitting in your fridge.

The immortalized roof structure of the Sydney Opera House, designed by  Jørn Utzon with engineers Ove Arup and Partners was designed around the concept of that concrete shells were structurally stable form resistant structure.  These thin shells are able to span huge distances because their shape can resist loads by developing stresses in their own plane.  So simply stated, the elegant thinness and curved nature of these shells is actually exactly what gives these forms their structural strength! Not only is it beautiful, it has a reason for being that way.

You could virtually build any curved shape using this principle but granted, it's not as easy as it sounds.  It requires a really sophisticated level of mathematical analysis by engineers and can get really costly when it comes to construction.   So in other words,unless you have enormous stacks of cash hidden in your bedroom mattress, you're not going to be going through all this trouble for the everyday building.

But that being said, nature seems to have the opposite approach! This concept of form resistant structures has been popping up in bird nests all over the world since the beginning of time.  As you can observe from everyday experience,when you take an egg in the palm and wrap your hand evenly around it, it can resist a great deal of uniformly distributed load in relation to how thin it is because of its shape.  Pretttttty nifty, no?

If that egg were in the shape of a cube, I can almost guarantee you that chickens would be extinct by now!  and you of course know what that means right?  Say goodbye to your roast chicken, your pollo asada tacos, your omelettes, your fried rice, pretty much all baked goods- bread, cakes, rolls, scones, croissants; your custard, ice cream, quiche, meatballs....ok I'm going to stop listing things now because this could go on forever and it's making me really sad, haha!

Anyway, in other news, I rescheduled my test from the 5th to the 14th!  I'm kind of bummed about this, because at this point I just want to get this exam over with and move on with life! But I guess it's better safe that sorry right?  Anyway, I hope you enjoy you weekend, wherever it takes you.  And if it happens to involve eggs at one point, I hope you able to stop and appreciate their structure for a second or two!

LAYING LOW

I finally did it! I bit the bullet and scheduled my exam (June 5!)!  At 7 more exams to go and $210 a pop, these tests sure are going to cost me an arm and a leg.   Not that I don't already practically live the life of a modern day hermit, but I for some reason still feel the need to say that I plan on laying low for the next few weeks to make sure I  can hit the ground running and focus on studying, and want to apologize if I am hard to reach and really slow at responding to things. Other than some alone time, I am painfully aware that my need to focus will also require me to nip my Breaking Bad addiction in the bud.  (My brother Josh suggested watching Breaking Bad after I finished Parks and Recreation because I was depressed that I had nothing to watch having already tried and failed to get into Friday Night Lights despite its glowing reviews)  But let's just cut to the chase,  if I don't get my act together,  and avoid these like the plague, I'll be studying til the butt crack of dawn every night!  I can't let this opportunity to get my license slip through my fingers!

Anyway, I am super nervous about my exam, being that it is my first one! That is why I plan on going the whole nine yards, and reviewing every part of the material.  Rest assured- I will leave no stone unturned!  In the "getting ready for the exam" chapter, Kaplan assures the candidates that anxiety over test taking is usually due to a fear of failure, and that if we come prepared we need not worry.  Who knew that such zen-like and calming advice could be found in a Kaplan study guide?  This of course, falls on deaf ears because I am Asian, and the fear of failure has already been pre-historically hard wired into my dna.  Since my children will only be 50% Asian, I can only hope that they will not be like me in this regard.  But you what they say- the apple never falls far from the tree.  So unfortunately, their advice went in one ear and out the other, but it's the thought that counts!

**This post reminds me of a woman Tiff told me about who only speaks in verbal cliches. I definitely have to admit that I use my fair share when writing and speaking. But you know, why do we always get caught up in what is and isn't cliche?  At the end of the day,  it's all just water under the bridge right?

OVERTIME IN SIMI VALLEY// Random snapshots from our day

Set your alarm to 5:45 am
We left the house at 6:30 to head out to Simi Valley. When Taylor has to work overtime on Saturdays, I like to tag along and go to a near by cafe to get some studying in. Thanks to daylight saving, it was pitch dark when we left, but it was actually really pretty seeing the color of the sky change as the sun began to rise. I feel like the rain always brings out the most insane colors.






Off to a Cafe
After I dropped Taylor off,  I camped out at a cafe, and got some studying done and also did a devotional from I John.   It's been far longer than I care to admit that I've done either of those things, so the 5:45 wake up time was totally worth it.





Back Home
When we got back home, we drank our bougie Whole Foods beer (and by bougie what I really mean is just that we didn't get blue moons this time) and played some monopoly deal. Then we made a breakfast inspired concoction with eggs over Taylor's Aunt Tina's delicious brisket and grilled potatoes.  I'm trying to cut back on my red meat.  I've grown up a total red meat eater, but am starting to realize that I can't just stuff that all in my mouth without thinking anymore.  However, in moderation- I can't think of anything else that hits the spot than sunny side up eggs over really good meat over really good potatoes, all on one plate. yum!

A NEW STUDY BUDDY

Last weekend, Taylor and I had a blast at Alex and Helen's wedding. It was a totally beautiful wedding and was filled with a tons of tear jerking moments. At the end of the night, I was able to grab a small bouquet that Ruby made before I left. They are so beautiful, and have been giving me something to look at when I need a break from drawing shear and moment diagrams or looking at design and response spectra graphs.  I hope I can get around to replacing this desk with a less depressing one, but in the meantime, I really love how the pinks and yellows pop against the black surface.

studying

I'm scheduled to take my first of 8 exams for my
architecture license in about 4 weeks
I've been hiding out at home a lot trying to get as much studying
done during the weekends ....but so far the only thing i've manged
to accomplish is to find new ways to procrastinate at home
and develop a serious coffee addiction. I seriously cannot
wait until these tests are over and done with!